So there I was, sitting on the couch, eating chips with Jesus...But you've probably heard that one before.
It's been quite a while since I updated, I know. The one person that reads this Blog is surely tearing out his hair in frustration. But really, it's a funny story as to why I haven't updated in so long.
It all started a few days after my last post. I had finally decided to break down and update again. I sat down and logged into my account and
viola! The account is there but there is no blog tied to it. I read the faqs, checked and made sure the blog itself was still working, but after a while I grew lazy and figured it must be a server problem. I would try again later. Certainly enough, I did try to log in several more times, all to no avail. I never quite worked up the energy to mail blogger support to have them check it out for me, so my blog just kind of drifted in limbo, much like a(n) [insert cogent paradigm here].
Which brings me to tonight. It's late. I'm doing some stuff on the computer for my wife, processing some of our movies onto hard drive so we can set up a streaming movie player in the living room. As I'm waiting for one of them to process, an idea occurs to me. I quickly pull up the blog login and try an alternate login name I use sometimes. Lo and behold, in my absent-mindedness, I had created two accounts with almost identical information. Fancy that.
"This 'Unspeakable One,' and I realize I may not want to know the answer to this, but whatever he has in mind is obviously facilitated by my being slippery and pliant, yes?"Another reason I haven't updated much is good old fashioned depression. I've been unemplyed since mid November, and frankly it's hard to be funny or insightful or witty when you're wondering how much longer that unemployment check is going to last before you
have to take that job with Micky D's. Kids, if you're reading this, listen to what I am telling you: Stay in school! It's as simple as that. The older you get, the harder it becomes to learn efficiently the way you do when you're young. Finish high school, go to college, get fifty degrees...learn as much as you can while you're young and your brain can absorb things. I can't count the number of times in my classes recently I've sat and read and reread the same page of text because no matter what I did it kept slipping out of my mind. Had I buckled down when I was in college the first time, I might not be in this situation, or if I was, at least my wife and I would be better off financially while I hunted up a job. There's plenty out there that I have the skills for, but they won't even look at me without a Bachelor's degree penciled in by my name. At this rate, I might actually get one before I'm forty, too!
Other than school and work, not much else going on. I bought a new book to read on the toilet, George R. R. Martin's
A Game of Thrones. A friend that I worked with before I got layed off recommended it to me, and frankly, I was surprised at how good it is. I'm normally more of a science fiction reader than fantasy, but I've been captivated so far, and my legs have fallen asleep as I have sat on my "reading chair" the past few nights now.
He looks so regal there, upon his throne...One final note - on reading upon the toilet. A former professor of mine once alluded that I might be obsessed with bodily functions and bathroom talk. I think i may get this from my mother, but I can't be sure. Mom was never shy when speaking about bodily functions, and I guess that kindof rubbed off on me. Don't get me wrong, I still close and lock the door whether I'm making lemonade or dropping the kids off at the pool (not to mention having mastered the art of the courtesy flush and having a wide variety of spray fragrances available in case the ventilation fan is defeated), but I've never been bothered by talking about it in public. Anyway, I've gotten way off topic. Reading on the John. I've been told I'm a bit off because I can spend so much time reading in the bathroom. Lots of people read in the bathroom, sure, but I've been known to spend up to three hours reading in the can. I'm not sure what it is, if it's the solitude, the relative quiet or just that it's really the only place in the last few places we've lived that's properly lit for reading. I simply find it increasingly difficult to read anywhere else. I guess it's time to buy a more cusioned toilet seat...
-J
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